Waiting

Norah won't likely be leaving the PICU too soon. She isn't any worse, but she isn't much better either. She's back to her baseline ventilator settings (I always correct people who say "home" settings), but is still not tolerating her feeds, and is still on a feeding pump (she hasn't needed one in a VERY long time), taking her feeding over an hour and a half instead of the usual 10-20 minutes via gravity without a pump. She is still working quite hard to breathe, which leaves less room in her body for formula.

She's still sweaty, off and on feverish, and mostly not herself. She plays now and then, but mostly drifts off to doze intermittently throughout the day. I'm not sure how long it will take her to get over the hump, which means her estimated stay at the PICU is unknown. Yes, that means that we may or may not have our Christmas at home. I won't think about that until it gets closer. We have three weeks to get back to where we were, but I'm not sure that's feasible.

I was pretty emotional last night. I think everything just sort of caught up with me. I've been pretty cavalier about this PICU stay, just assuming it was a bump in the road and she would immediately bounce right back. It's taking longer than I thought it would, so I think my denial of the situation finally broke through. I shouldn't have been looking up medical journals online, but I read that mortality rate for ventilator associated pneumonias are widely varied, but generally in the range of 24-50%. UGH. Now I know for so many reasons, Norah does not and will not fit into that percentage. It just isn't her situation. She is doing too well... right?

Last night I wistfully sobbed about missing the time that Norah was in my belly. I carried her with me everywhere I went. She got the hiccups every day, which would send a quick little jolt in my belly. She was a gentle kicker (unlike Harper), which is just how she is now: so surprisingly gentle for her age. She was always snuggled up within me, no matter where I was. I never had to say goodbye to her at the end of the day. Jeff reminded me that I couldn't be selfish in this, and that if she was still in my belly, he couldn't snuggle her too. We wouldn't be able to enjoy her smiles, her belly laughs, or any of the wonderful things that Norah shares with us. Of course I wouldn't really want her back in there, but I sure miss never having to be separated from her.

I probably shouldn't be allowed to use the Internet anymore. In addition to reading awful things about ventilator associated pneumonia, I also briefly looked at a couple videos of kids Norah's age. I wanted to see what a kid with typical development would be like. Of course Harper fit in that category, but I just couldn't remember the look and feel of it. Oh boy, what a mistake. These kids were such busy bodies. They walked everywhere. The tumbled, toddled, and talked. Their voices were so sweet. They played on the couch, the carpet, and everything they could get their hands into. I quickly closed the videos. My emotions are torn here. Though I pine for Norah to be free of her tethers, I don't want those babies. I want mine, and that means at any cost.

So we wait for Norah to get better. We'll wait for her to get back to where she was before all this. We'll wait for her to come home. We'll wait for her to get strong enough to not need all of her medical gear. We wait, we wait, we wait.

Our Most Beloved Star

This time last year, my water had already broken, and I was putting off going to the hospital in an attempt to prolong the need for medical intervention in an all-natural VBAC. Of course, things certainly didn't go the way I had intended, but what birth ever does? I read somewhere that only about 4% of babies are born on their due date. Norah was part of that small percent. Though it was about 31 hours between my water breaking and her arrival, Norah was right on time. These first two photos in this post were taken during Norah's first few days after birth at the U of U Hospital. I still can't bear to share her very first photos on here. They never fail to make me cry when I look at them.

On the topic of statistics, I've also heard that only about 1% of children become ICU patients. I wonder what sort of subset Norah belongs to - of pediatric patients that need prolonged support. My guess would be less than 1% of that 1%. Most families are fortunate to be in and out in a few days or weeks time. Some of my readers know what it's like to live in this alternate world. Our babies don't get to come home for things like holidays, birthdays, or other celebrations. It hurts.

But with all of the ugliness, comes so much beauty. Norah's path has been hard, long, and exhausting. But on it, we've found love in such amazing places. I can't begin to count the people I've met along the way: healthcare professionals, parents, and other children who are going through their own difficulties. These people are amazing. I've met professionals with incredible experiences that led them to their career choice. I've met kiddos that have had heart or other organ transplants. I've met kids waiting for transplants. I've met other long-termers like Norah, who are being sustained on life-support while waiting for time to simply help them grow, heal, or blossom. I've met families who have lost their children. And most recently, I met one of the sweetest girls ever: a 14-month old with such beautiful, expressive eyes. She died just a few days after we left the PICU this last time, and it has deeply affected me. I can't stop thinking about her and her lovely mama.

We have been through so much during this last year. I never could have dreamed any of this up, and nothing ever would have prepared us for it. We hurt and we cry. We laugh and we smile. We do everything we can to give Harper and Norah full lives despite our circumstances. We can't bear the thought of what we would do without the care we've received. Norah will be one year old tomorrow. I can't fully express what this means to us. I can't even fully express what it means to everyone that lives in Norah's world. And in all my full geekery, I close with a quote from Lord of the Rings, one that represents Norah in such a lovely way:

"I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out."

Norah's Birth Story

As Norah approaches the two-month mark, I am reminded of how true it is that every pregnancy, birth, and baby is different. That is especially true for Harper and Norah. Just see what life was like when he turned two-months old... boy were things different then. Not better, not worse... just different.

Getting back to the topic at hand: I was more uncomfortable while pregnant with Harper. He was a c-section, Norah was a VBAC (yay for me!). Harper was 3 weeks early, Norah came right on her due date. He was a huge baby, she was a tiny baby. Harper was all smiles and shenanigans, while Norah is all about peace and quiet.

Well, I suppose I'm finally ready to share a somewhat condensed version of Norah's birth story. I wasn't sure that I was going to blog about it, but what can I say... I'm in a sharing mood, and I miss her so much. Click the link to "Read more" below if you're interested. If not, I won't blame you for not caring to read it.

When all was said and done, I'd take the VBAC over the c-section any day. It was a trade off of crazy pain all at once instead of awful pain for weeks. And for those of you that have been told "once a c-section, always a c-section", know that it isn't entirely true!

Practice makes.... perfect?

I had a second false start last night. Last night I had regular contractions that began around 2am. They were stronger than last time and were just as consistent. As time rolled on, I decided to get in the bathtub. I wanted to see if they'd stick around or dissipate with the comfort of the water. I figured it would be a good idea so I'd know if Jeff needed to stay home or not. It was starting to feel like the real thing. The water was so fantastic... I really hope I get one of the delivery rooms with a birthing tub in it.

After about 30 minutes in the bathtub, the contractions were still going when I finally crawled into bed & fell asleep around 4:45am, but were gone by the time Harper woke me at about 7:30am (which by the way is sleeping in for him). I've had a few here & there today, but the baby is still cozy in my belly.

Does practice make perfect? Well I'm sure the birth will be perfect in whatever way it happens... and I'm sure this practice is doing me good. I've been practicing my HypnoBirthing relaxation techniques & I feel more and more prepared every day. My estimated due date is Wednesday - the day after tomorrow. It's gone by so fast!

Come on out, little peanut... we're all ready to meet you!

Practice Labor!

I woke this morning around 4:00 am with some strong-ish contractions that were an average of 5 minutes apart. After timing them for awhile & deciding that it didn't feel quite strong enough to be the real deal, I was able to fall back asleep around 4:45. Harper woke Jeff and I at 6:30 & the contractions were still going. I told Jeff that today could possibly be the day! He was anxious, but I told him that if it was true labor, it felt like very early labor. 


Well, the contractions stopped around 8am. It was a "false" start, but good practice. On the plus-side, it motivated us to check off the final lingering items on our pre-baby to-do list. 


So, I wasn't expecting any real results, but I attribute this little practice session to eating a bunch of "Labor Cookies" last night. I might have to do it again to see if it will lead to the real thing. I've been feeling like labor is looming so thought I'd give them a try. I mostly did it for fun, but also because they sounded yummy! I have a somewhat high tolerance for spicy things, so I doubled the cayenne to 1 (very full) teaspoon when I made them. My mother- & father- in-laws tried them & liked them, so I wanted to share the recipe. If spicy isn't your thing, you could always omit the cayenne altogether, because they're a super yummy ginger cookie!


Jump Start Your Labor Cookies 
(source)


2 1/2 c. flour

1 1/2 t. baking soda
3/4 t. cinnamon
1 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. ground cloves
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. cayenne pepper
8 T. butter
1/2 c. sugar
1 c. brown sugar
1/3 c. molasses 1/4 c. egg whites


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, baking soda and spices and set aside. Cream the butter and sugars together. Add the molasses to the creamed butter, then add the egg whites until combined. Addd the dry ingredients slowly. Once incorporated, roll dough into 1 inch balls and place onto baking tray. Bake 8-10 minutes. Once cool eat as many as you can possibly stomach, lay down for a nap and wait for labor to begin!

The Waiting Game

I'm at the 39-week mark today, which means the baby's due date is in exactly one week. Of course, only a small percentage of babies are born on their actual due date, so really we're just playing the waiting game right now. When pregnant with Harper, I  had a scheduled c-section during my 37th week. So not only am I more pregnant than I've ever been, but I'm in all-new territory. I've been having contractions that have grown in strength and occurrence, but I (obviously) haven't gone into labor yet. We'll see what my doctor and midwife have to say at my Thursday appointment.

After having lived in Phoenix for 8 years, I'm not typically one to complain about any temperature under 100... but yes it has been hot. Yes, my feet are swollen. Yes, I am shorter tempered and more emotional than usual. And yes, I get fatigued after doing something as simple as cooking dinner. However, I still say that this pregnancy is much easier than last time; I don't mind that the baby isn't here yet. Of course I'd rather s/he come sooner than later, but I'm patient. I want to avoid induction or any other type of "intervention" as to increase my chance of a successful VBAC. Of course I'm reasonable and I will make sure we make the right decisions for the health of both the baby and myself, but after doing a pretty good deal of reading and research on the subjects of VBAC and natural birthing methods, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I know things don't always go as planned, but hopefully I'll have good news in the week(s) to come!

Go Figure...

Is the universe sending me some sort of message? Do I have some sort of crazy extrasensory perception? Sometimes I think that's the case, but I'll stay on-topic here. So right after typing yesterday's rant post about our new and improved worsened health care coverage, what was tucked lovingly into our mailbox? That's right folks - a hospital bill was waiting for me. And not just any hospital bill, but one that was a whopping 600% more than I had expected. Silly me (you'd think I'd learn by now, but I'd rather check to be sure), I called both the hospital and insurance company, only to find that the charges were all valid. Sigh.

In other news, I'm feeling pretty great for the most part. This pregnancy has turned out to be much easier on me overall. I've gained less weight, I'm not swelling nearly as much as I did with Harper (I even sported a lovely pair of compression hose last time), and though elevated to "borderline", my blood pressure isn't nearly as bad as it was last time. Interesting that this "high risk" pregnancy ends up being easier than my "normal" one.

With Harper, I would have been set to deliver next week, during the 37th week. Crazy, right? Judging by my progress at today's appointment, my midwife said that it was looking like I was going to be "pregnant for awhile longer". So I'd like to say that the baby will be here in just a few more weeks, but we'll see how things naturally progress. Mother nature has been good to me so far with the summer temperatures, and I don't mind being pregnant for awhile longer. It's no walk in the park, but I've really been enjoying it this time around.

Thoughts at 36 Weeks

I'll avoid jumping into a political-oriented rant here. But I do have to say: our country's healthcare system really needs some work. Our insurance changed in 2010 and at the time we didn't realize how much for the worse that change would be. Sure, it's likely more than adequate for the average person or family, but that isn't who we are.

We had a rude awakening when our hospital bills started to pile up for prenatal care. I even called the hospitals and our new insurance provider, thinking that there had to be some kind of mistake. Nope... Our new insurance was really that lame. Okay, maybe I shouldn't say that it's all bad. After all, I'm grateful that we have coverage at all. There are no doubt countless Americans without any (or adequate) medical insurance. All I know is that all the medical care for this baby is going to be expensive, but we're determined to make it work.

The good news is that there is a Shriner's Children's Hospital in SLC with a long list of orthopedic services to offer our little peanut when s/he needs it. Shriner's is an incredible group that offers medical care to children with special medical needs. The best part? They'll bill our insurance company for whatever they can, but we won't have to pay out of pocket for the rest. I'm pretty sure that this will only help with major procedures & we'll still have plenty more to pay for (ie labor/delivery/recovery as well as the countless inevitable genetic & orthopedic tests), but this will be a HUGE help.

We're less than a month from our due date, and only a week from being full term. We still have lots to do to get ready, but ultimately... We're more than ready to cuddle our little peanut. We still have some decisions to make on baby names, though. It's definitely more difficult having to come up with names for each gender, but the surprise is SO worth it.

2 Months and Counting

I have just under two months left in this pregnancy. I've been nesting by tackling clutter in the house to make room for the baby while also making the house more comfortable in general. We recently sorted through our extensive DVD collection & sold them to Amazon.com. Not only did it get rid of about five boxes of stored DVDs, but it also put baby money in our pockets. Jeff is dreading doing the same with video games, but I hope I'll be able to talk him into it sooner than later.

We had our 32-week ultrasound today. When I was pregnant with Harper, Jeff never had to miss a single appointment - he went to every one. Now that we have to juggle more than just our own schedules, Jeff has only been able to go to three appointments this time, even though I've been going every two weeks. I thought this week would be a good opportunity for him to meet our new nurses, midwife, and doctor. Plus, it was an ultrasound appointment, so that's always a bonus. I'm so grateful to Jeff's sister Emily for always being so willing to watch Harper. I'm also grateful that Harper is being less of a stink about going over there, too. He can be so antisocial sometimes.

The scan photos look a little better in person, but you should be able to make out the face profile using the labels below. It looks like we'll have another Filipino-nosed baby in the family. No substantial news to report on the growth front. The long bones have still not progressed much. They've taken a month to grow what you would typically see take two weeks for a baby without this condition. They're measuring about 22-23 weeks, though the baby is 32-weeks. Everything else seems on track, which is the best possible news we could hope for.

While we were watching the scan, the baby poked out his/her tongue at us. We also saw that the baby has some pretty chubby looking legs, so that is something to look forward to. Don't you just love chubby little baby legs? It looks like this baby will have extra chubby, extra little legs. :)

28 Weeks

At 28 weeks, I'm now in my third trimester. And whoa boy is it starting to feel like it. Though I've gained less weight than last time (can I get a woot woot) & my belly is smaller, I am starting to feel BIG. I had a doctor appointment and ultrasound this morning. I won't be posting any pictures this time because the baby just wasn't cooperating. They pictures I brought home are mostly shapeless black and white blotches. The most exciting news is that I passed my 1-hour glucose test with flying colors. When I was pregnant with Harper, my 1-hour test came back as "borderline", though my fasting 4-hour test was normal. This time my levels were great. What a relief... it's just one less thing for us to worry about, and we'll take everything we can get.

However, the ultrasound showed that the baby's long bones (femurs & humeruses) were proportionately smaller to the rest of the body than they were during the 24-week ultrasound. My doctor said it was nothing to get worried about, but was something they would be monitoring. It also looks like the vertebrae are shortened and possibly flattened, but that's to be expected with this condition. The good news is that the bones are growing straight (no curves), and the chest and abdomen appear to be growing relatively propotionate so far, which is important for organ development.

Baby actual: 28 weeks
Head: 29 weeks (no surprise... we are a big-headed family!)
Abdomen: 26-27 weeks
Long Bones: 19-20 weeks
Estimated weight: 1lb 4oz +/-4oz (average at this age would be 2.2 lbs)

The numbers speak for themselves. The stress and worries are definitely up a notch, but I am still so excited for this baby. I suppose life isn't supposed to be easy, right?

And because he always seems to know when I can use a little extra sunshine, Jeff surprised me with the loveliest bouquet of flowers. It was a sweet early Mother's Day gift accompanied by a very thoughtful card. Sorry, I don't think your model of computer screen comes with scratch n sniff. You'll have to take my word that they smell wonderful.

Sweet Tooth

It is quite unfortunate for my waistline growing belly that I've had a major sweet tooth during this pregnancy. Compared to my last pregnancy, I've gained much less weight so far, and I'd like to keep it that way. Alas, there are so many goodies calling my name.

Game of Thrones Lemon Cakes

Jeff and I have spent the last few months obsessed with George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series. I won't go into details regarding the obsession, but we're in full geek-out mode. The first book has been made into an HBO series (yes, there is a reason it's on HBO and not basic cable, if you catch my drift). A big part of the series is the food. As a lacto-ovo vegetarian, I wouldn't touch most of it with someone else's fork, let alone my own. However, there are a few stand-outs for me. Most notable are the lemon cakes that are continuously mentioned throughout the series. HBO released an "official" recipe for them, and I've made them twice now. We certainly wouldn't have been without lemon cakes when the show premiered last night! It was a night for thumbs up all over the place. They may not be exactly what I imagined from the book, but they're definitely going to make regular appearances in our kitchen. They're fairly easy to make & require just a handful of simple ingredients. Let me know if you'd like to borrow my little ramekins!

Raspberry Jam Cookies

Harper adores Love is a Handful of Honey by Giles Andreae. It's a very sweet story with beautiful illustrations. On his favorite page, the little bear and his friends have a picnic with some of those delectable heart-shaped jam cookies. You know the ones I mean, right? So I picked up this recipe from the incomparable Martha Stewart. This recipe is great, and would have only been improved with my mother-in-law's infamous raspberry jam fresh from the garden. Harper had a great time "helping" mommy with the dough.

Friday Night Excitement

Yes, the image to the left is an IV at the hospital. I spent much of Friday night writhing in pain at the other end of it. Thankfully, both the baby and I are just fine.

At about noon yesterday, Harper and I were walking up the stairs at home when I suddenly felt dizzy, faint, and extremely weak. After a snack of fresh fruit and a guzzle of water, the spell mostly passed. However, I still felt like there was something wrong. I sent Jeff a message asking if he could come home just in case.

Everything seemed okay for the most part, but shortly after dinner (about 6pm), the sensation came back. This time it was accompanied by severe cramping in my stomach (above the baby) and my mid-back. For a brief time, I was afraid that I was going into pre-term labor because the cramping was simply unbearable. I did realize though that true contractions would be felt elsewhere, and would come in cycles. This was persistent, severe pain. The pain progressed, so I eventually had Jeff take me to the nearest hospital (though not where I'm regularly seen for my prenatal care, almost an hour away).

We were there for almost four hours while they pumped IV fluids into me & made sure both the baby and I were doing okay. The pain did not lessen, but they continued to refuse me any pain medication. They had me in a labor & delivery room, and those beds were not made for comfort. They could have put me in a bed fit for a queen and I probably still wouldn't have been able to get comfortable. I'll spare you the gory details, but I'll just say that they assumed I had a kidney stone and/or a possible stomach bug along with severe dehydration from not being able to keep anything down. At about 10pm they finally agreed to give me pain medication that instantly zapped the horrid cramping. I typically am anti-drug, but this was such sweet relief that I hardly cared. Once my body had finished sucking down a bag and a half of saline, I was discharged with instructions to make an appointment with my regular OB this coming week.

I had never had a kidney stone before, but plenty of mamas state that the pain is plenty worse than labor or childbirth itself. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that while pregnant, you can't get much relief or treatment for a kidney stone. I didn't experience true labor with Harper since he was a scheduled c-section, so I'll let you know in a few months.

And what would I have done without my sister-in-law, Emily? She agreed to watch Harper at the last minute & much later than anyone would want to babysit. Harper is pretty anti-social, but thank goodness for her son Logan, too. Harper adores his cousin, and from what I was told, his face lit up the moment Logan jumped out to greet him. Emily, thank you so much for helping us out at such short notice & so late at night when you had to work the following morning. Love ya!

As for my experience at Davis Hospital, I was relatively pleased with the care... But let's just say I'd rather not have to go back any time soon.

Finding Peace

When I first met Jeff, I knew that I had finally found peace in my life. As a child I was sensitive and melodramatic. As a young adult I was high-strung. I liked to think of myself as mellow, but when I truly look back, I know that "mellow" was pretty far off. The truth was, I felt anxious all the time, and about everything. That changed when I met Jeff. I immediately knew that he would be in my life forever. As we fell in love, I found wave of peace washing over all of those anxious bits within me. He brought out a calm side of me that I never knew was there.

When I was pregnant with Harper, Jeff and I were worried about birth defects. Okay, okay - ALL parents worry about birth defects. But every time someone would brush off my concerns as typical or trivial, I wanted to smack them (figuratively, not literally of course). The fact of the matter is that our concerns are not typical. Jeff was born with an extremely rare skeletal dysplasia, so each of our pregnancies presents a 50% chance that the baby will have it too. Jeff has had unique challenges in life that few people are likely to comprehend - especially considering his condition has one in a million occurrence. So mister or misses health care professional, please excuse me if I don't appreciate having my concerns brushed off as if they are unfounded.

Though we worried about Harper (who was not affected), my worries felt different early on during this second pregnancy. I can't quite explain it, but something within me knew that this baby was affected. Four weeks ago, we were told during our first ultrasound that the baby did indeed have growth anomalies that coincide with spondylometaphyseal dysplasia (can't pronounce it? Either Jeff's mom Carol or I can pronounce it for you... she especially knows it well). Though there is no exact prenatal test for Jeff's type of dysplasia, it's quite apparent that the baby has it. Of course our initial reaction was mostly sadness. And if you catch me during a hormonal moment, you might see tears in my eyes. But honestly, the longer it sits in my heart, the more I become okay with it.

For those of you readers lucky enough to know my husband Jeff, you know how incredible he is. This is not just coming from his wife and best friend. Ask anyone - his grandparents, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and all of the people that have really known him. He is everyone's favorite, and for good reason. He's funny, inspirational, modest, and just so dang selfless. If anyone ever had a good reason to complain, it would be Jeff... but he doesn't complain at all. One would never know what he's endured. He is my heart, and I love him so much. I can't ever imagine spending my life with anyone else, and could NEVER have asked for a better father to my children.

So it is with Jeff that I am finding peace in this situation. It seems that so few people have marriages as true and strong as ours, and we'll need every bit of that strength to get through what lies ahead. I'm also finding peace as I imagine holding this sweet little baby in my arms, feeling my heart stretch as it makes more room for the love already growing for him/her. The road ahead will not be easy. But I couldn't be any luckier than to have an amazing husband and family to lean on throughout everything. So from me, Jeff, Harper, and the baby, a big thank you to Mom, Dad, Tyra, Anthony, Greg, Mario, Carol, Mark, Shelly, Scott, Tracy, Emily, Ryan, Kelli, Jared, and all the rest of our family.

And here is a profile image our little wiggly peanut at 24-weeks, saying hello. I really love the new team of people providing us with amazing care, including my new doctor who not only has a background in genetics, but just happens to have special interest in skeletal dysplasias. Just check out her U of U faculty profile - impressive, right? We'll probably have a new picture just like this at least once month to share, up until the baby is here in about 16 more weeks!

Boy or Girl?

We loved leaving the gender a surprise when we were pregnant with Harper, so we've decided to do it again. But you can weigh in with your prediction using the poll in the upper right corner of the blog.

So what do you think this time: boy or girl?

New Doctor

When I went in for my first OB visit for this pregnancy, I was nervous. I was beyond nervous. I had been searching for a doctors and hospitals that were VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) friendly, and came up with so little useful information, except that the closest hospital to me was not supportive of VBACs. Time was ticking away, so I made a desperate appointment with a doctor at the University of Utah. He was the only one available at short notice (that should have been a cautionary flag right there).

He was horrible. I don't doubt his competency, but he was not what I was looking for in a doctor. I won't go into detail, but I knew immediately that I wouldn't be going back to him.

The hunt was on again. Because this doctor said that he was willing to "try" a VBAC, and I didn't want to have to start from scratch, I decided to search within the same practice at the U of U. I made an appointment with someone else, and I have to say... I LOVE her. Love Love Love Love her. She was thorough, sweet, understanding, attentive, and incredibly supportive. She spent about thirty minutes with me, taking her time discussing my history and needs. I don't have enough good things to say about her. Jeff and I are both so relieved.

So in a couple days I'm headed into the second trimester and am feeling much better. My morning sickness is all but gone (typing that better not jinx anything), my fatigue is starting to lighten up, and I'm feeling really optimistic about everything. It's incredible what a difference a good doctor can make.

Whoa, Baby!

Yes, the rumors are true. There's a little peanut in this mama's belly. On Wednesday I'll be just five weeks along, putting our due date around July 27th. If anyone knows of a good VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarian) doctor in Utah (preferably Salt Lake or Davis counties), let me know because I'm on the hunt.

...and yes, we're going to let the gender be a surprise again! Hooray!

Wednesday = Happy Birthday Sprout!

Well, we have our scheduled date and time for our little sprout's grand entrance. Our c-section is scheduled for Wednesday at 4:00 p.m. We can't wait! We were hoping for Thursday, but this was the only time available this week.

We had an amniocentesis this morning to check on the baby's lung development. (Test results should be in by this evening.) The procedure got me contracting regularly this morning, which was shown on the fetal monitor after the amnio. The baby doesn't seem to want to drop any further down, so hopefully s/he can wait until tomorrow before getting too excited to come out!

This may be the last post for awhile, so we'll let you all know how it goes and... if its a BOY or a GIRL!!! (Aren't you glad we've waited for this exciting surprise?!?)

S

Baby Week!

Do you remember the last time that you were filled with intense, euphoric excitement that you could hardly contain yourself? I'm not just talking about your normal happy anticipation. I'm referring to the kind of exuberance that is reminiscent of youthful enthusiasm for things to come. Think of the day before your first day at kindergarten, or the moments before you walked through the gates of Disneyland for the first time... or perhaps think of the moments leading up to an extra-special childhood birthday party right before your guests began to arrive. Well, hopefully those were happy occasions for you... if not - never mind. :) This is the kind of happiness that Jeff and I are feeling as the arrival of our precious baby approaches.

Reality is continuing to set in. Baby will make three in less than three days! We have an amniocentesis scheduled for tomorrow morning so we can make sure the baby's lungs are ready for the outside world prior to the c-section. As long as that procedure doesn't break my water (which it could), we'll be scheduling a c-section for Wednesday (8/20) or Thursday (8/21). We'll let everyone know what the timeline looks like once it is scheduled. The official reason for the c-section is macrosomia, the medical term for a gigantic, over-sized baby. That, coupled with my blood pressure, make c-section a recommendable option. It is better for me to schedule the surgery rather than go through hours of labor that doesn't progress, only to need an emergency c-section afterwards. It's too stressful/risky for both the baby and I.

I am feeling really good about our decision to go with the c-section. The best part, is that it is our decision without pressure from our doctor. She said that she's up for trying any delivery method, even if I was adamant about attempting natural birth first. At 32 weeks, the baby was already estimated to weigh 6 lbs, 4 oz (I'll let you do the math of adding 1/2 a pound a week to that.. yikes!), and today's 37-week appointment confirmed that the baby has not engaged in my pelvis. So now - 3 weeks early - we are likely talking about a 9 or 10 (or more) pound baby. The doctor said (with a youthful giggle) that she is really excited to find out the size of the baby. We can tell that she truly cares, and is genuine when she says that she's excited.

So, it is just a couple of days before we bring our perfect, beautiful baby into this world! As you can see, we definitely have a reason to be giddy with anticipation!

S

One More Week!

Though we were expecting to have an idea of the induction (or c-section) date from today's appointment, we're going to be waiting another week to make a decision. Yet again, our doctor has shown us that her style and philosophy of care are fantastic. She laid out the many possible scenarios and options, as well as the risks and benefits of each. Of course, we could wait for the full 40-weeks, but the baby is so big (my external measurement is at about 44-weeks!), and my blood pressure is so high, that pregnancy may get to be too risky at that point. She is in no way trying to persuade us to do any one certain thing, which we love. She gives us the information, and empowers us to make our own decisions with her complete support. I do have a distinct feeling (and I think she feels the same way), that this baby won't be "fitting". So, we're going to give it one more week, when I will technically be considered full term at 37 weeks.

We have an afternoon appointment scheduled for next Monday, where we'll be making some decisions. If the baby has dropped into the birth canal (I thought it maybe had, but she said s/he hasn't at all), then I'll be trying for a natural (though induced) delivery. If not, we'll be scheduling a c-section.

So, the plan is still for next week, we just don't know exactly when. We'll let you all know! (Greg, we're still trying for the 21st!)

What? I'm going to have a baby?!

One would assume that after many months of being (very) pregnant, that I'd become aware of the fact that I'm going to be a mother. Yes, fifth grade health class taught me that making it this far through pregnancy typically led to parenthood. I've been around quite a few pregnant women before, and have actually been in the room during a live birth. BUT - there was something about today's appointment that led me to realize that motherhood is knocking on my door. So much for four weeks left... the doc is guessing two! She said that during next week's appointment (Monday), we'll be talking about inducing labor and/or planning a c-section for either the following week or week after that.

Oh my goodness... we're going to be parents.

The appointment went well. I am at about 36 weeks, but am measuring at 41 (the measurements make me giggle at this point). Also, I'm already starting to dilate (another reality check). We find a comforting connection with our doctor. She shares her personal pregnancy details with us. Almost every issue we've had during this pregnancy mirror her own experiences during her two pregnancies. If I had the ability to create my own OB, like some sort of mad scientist, I couldn't come close to how great our doctor is.

Its been difficult lying around the house all day when I know there is so much we'd like to do to get ready for the baby's arrival. Fortunately, I have an incredible husband that takes care of these kinds of things. He doesn't complain about it, and he does it all eagerly - knowing that he is taking care of the baby and I each step of the way.

Below is a picture of the of the blanket that I started to knit. I took the picture with my phone, so the image quality isn't the best. Its a ribbed, super soft throw that is kind of a brick red color. I thought I'd be able to get it done by the time the baby came... but now its looking like I won't have as much time as I thought I would. Let me tell you - knitting isn't as easy as you'd think it would be while lying down.

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