Friday, September 27, 2013

Enough

It's been a rough couple of weeks for us: a hospital admission, pretty bad colds for all of us, impossibly painfully tight finances accompanied with lots of unpaid time off work, a huge unresolved misunderstanding with one of my family members (who's love and support I need right now more than ever), dietary issues, and now to cap it off, a really hard-to-swallow questionable diagnosis from one of Norah's doctors. He thinks that she needs spinal fusion surgery at the very top of her spine (C1 & C2). This is huge. This is life altering, and totally risky... and I just don't fully trust in the diagnosis.

So we are going through the motions for a second opinion in Delaware. Yep, Delaware. We are sending her radiology images to them to see if we can prevent a trip across the country with a girl that does not travel well or light. I'm not holding my breath. So, why Delaware? It's all for this brilliant man. His entire population of patients are those with a huge variety of skeletal dysplasias, where as the doctors here only have a small handful of patients with Norah's condition (the many different skeletal dysplasias can be vastly different from one another). So we don't just need specialty care - we need sub-specialty care. There are few places in this country with experts on skeletal dysplasias. People from all over the world travel to see this doctor, and with good reason. It's unfortunate that so few specialists understand Norah's condition... but we are so grateful for those that truly try (like our ENT). So if a costly trip to Delaware may save our girl from an irreversible invasive surgery, I'm all for it. She may still need surgery... but even if she does, I'll rest much easier knowing that only the best hands and minds are taking care of our girl.

So why the title of this post? I've had enough of being sad. I've had enough tears. I can't sustain it anymore. I'm putting on my big girl panties and facing issues with my head up. I'm going to focus on my health. I'm going to take care of my family. Yes, there will be moments of sadness, but I will hold onto the beauty and good in our world. I won't let others get me down. Jeff and I had a wonderful talk last night about what we want, how we want to feel, and how we will achieve our goals. We're so optimistic right now.  And what better teammate than my Jeffrey? I've had enough of the blue, and am ready for happier days. This seasonal change is the perfect time to start, since autumn is my favorite. I'll close this post with the motto of special needs families everywhere: I can do hard things.
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