Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Life is Fragile

What a week. So we had a pretty terrible day last Monday. I was giggling, playing, and taking smiling photos of Norah (left) when she began to cough. She was having a difficult time so I passed the suction catheter to help with her secretions. I had a tough time passing to the normal depth, and she immediately went gray and still. Not blue, not purple, but gray. I called out for help and her respiratory therapist responded quickly. I grabbed the ambu-bag for him, and did what I could to help him revive her. She seemingly turned to stone in an instant. He called out for more help. Her color started to return as he bagged her, but when the charge nurse came in, she started to turn gray again. Just then, Jeff arrived with Harper. As the nurse called a code over the PA system, the three of us left the room. Now that she was in good hands, I was able to lose it. I sobbed uncontrollably in the hallway. Harper could sense something was wrong and also got pretty upset. He said he wanted to take the elevator downstairs, so Jeff went with him while the social worker stayed with me in the hallway.

Everyone was flooding towards her room, and when there wasn't room for more people, they all stood outside looking both anxious and somber. They were doing chest compressions in there, trying to bring our baby girl back to us. A few people left the room, telling me they were doing everything they could. After (what I was later told was) nine long minutes, I heard a female voice shout, "YES!" Soon after, someone came out to tell me that her heart was beating again. I am so thankful to all of those that brought her back, especially those that took turns doing CPR.

The ride to Primary Children's was awful. The ambulance rushed us there with the sirens and lights on. It was not exciting or thrilling; it was nerve wracking and stressful. She made the trip safely while being bagged the entire time by Metro Fire EMS. They weren't able to get an IV in, so had to place an IO (intraosseous) in her tibia. Poor girl.

So it's been a really difficult week of ups and downs, but she's been much better during these past couple of days. It looks like we're going to be hibernating at Primary Children's PICU for the winter at minimum. Who knows what will be done at that point. All that matters is our girl is back with us. Time will still tell if there was any permanent brain damage from those nine minutes, but we, along with the doctors, are very optimistic. She was happy and smiling yesterday (Tuesday), and seemed more herself than she has all week.

Life is fragile. Go hug your children, your parents, your siblings, and everyone else that you love. And be sure to tell them how wonderful they are... because you never know what can happen.

Settled in at Primary Children's. So exhausted.

Oh happy day! As of Tuesday, she's finally playful again. (Don't mind the IV in her head. It's better than an IO!)

Sleeping sweetly on Tuesday.

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